Monday, December 04, 2006

Borrowed from my facebook note.

2006- The Best Year in Music Ever!!!

I was just thinking about the awesome pop hits this year and thought I would list my favs!

Akon ft. Snoop Dogg “I Wanna F*@$ You” (I realize the radio version is “I Wanna Love You”)
- Just what we need some more children born out of wedlock to a “Konvict” and another from “Death Row Records”. Man I really should have released a line of those chastity belts from Robin Hood: Men In Tights with the padlocks on them with these two running around. I could have made millions, Fo’ Shizzle.

Justin Timberlake “Sexy Back”
- So at first I was confused as to why Justin had to bring sexy back. Where did it go? Oh yeah, in 2006 sexy turned into slutty. Hey everyone, lets not wear underwear and run around drunk with our short skirts on.

Nickleback “Photograph”
- I love how angry he sounds while crying over his high school scrapbook, so deep and thoughtful. He dropped out of school and then broke back in “half a dozen times,” then went and blew “every dollar” in the arcade. Don’t get me wrong mortal combat was cool, but was it worth every dollar, and why is he breaking into school so much? Hey listen Nickelback- Cheer Up! You’re a millionaire now, you can afford to buy shampoo and quit cutting your own hair, maybe even some therapy! Seriously think about the therapy!

T Pain “I’m In Love With A Stripper”
- Maybe if you left the strip club for a little while you could find a nice girl. You’d also save time not having to go to the bank and get all of those one dollar bills.

Hinder “Lips Of An Angel”
-So apparently these guys need to go to group therapy with Nickleback. This guy is yelling angrily about having to be quiet because his “girl” is in the next room. Maybe the girl on the phone has a bad signal or something I can’t figure out why he has too yell like that. I’m not sure why if his “ex” has the lips of an angel he left her for a girl he doesn’t even like? I do applaud his abstinence though- I’m certain that’s why they are sleeping in separate rooms. It’s rare to find a hard rocker with those kind of morals.

Jibbs “Chain Hang Low”
-I’m worried this guy will have major spinal injury with these heavy chains on his neck.

Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland “Maneater”
-Nelly Furtado how dare you steal a title from a classic Hall and Oats song! Go be “like a bird and fly away” please.

Toby Keith “Any song he writes”
You haven’t been country since you cut off your mullet. What kind of cowboy wears girl cowboy hats and Abercrombie jeans?

Fergie “London Bridge”
-“I’m such a lady but I’m dancing like a ho.” Rather contradicting if you ask me. (See “Sexyback” note)

So that’s my thoughts on the best year in music ever- EVER!
Fergalicious

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